Fun and games in Barcelona

OLYMPIC CONFIDENTIAL

July 28, 1992|By Kevin Cowherd

DREAM TEAM UPDATE -- USA squeezes by Croatia, 332-12. Charles Barkley is warned by referees for ripping out windpipe of one Croatian player and setting another's jersey on fire. Mr. Barkley claims opponents failed to say "God bless you" after Barkley sneezed.

Next Dream Team opponent: CYO Dandy Dunkers of Montvale, N.J.

THIS AIN'T NO PARTY -- Bulgaria's 18-year-old gymnast Svetlana Ivanova is disqualified for weighing in at bloated 86 pounds. She later admits to pigging out on a small garden salad at dinner.

BARCELONA BEAT -- No truth to the rumor Gov. Schaefer turned down a spot in Coke's new "Shared With the World" campaign, opting to remain in Annapolis and test new bullwhip on his staff.

WHAT THE . . .? -- Roller Hockey, a combination of roller skating, hockey and soccer, is demonstration sport, raising disturbing possibility it soon could be dominated by disaffected suburban teen-agers with green hair and nose rings.

IF YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM -- TripleCast, NBC's "pay-per-view" cable package, now boasts 46 subscribers nationwide with the addition of Mrs. Agnes Florio of Lansing, Mich. A sobbing Mrs. Florio later claims she actually ordered Disney Channel.

Each weekday through the end of the Olympics, humor columnist Kevin Cowherd will provide news about the games -- as seen from his sofa.

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