Joe Montana was dining in Hawaii 18 months ago with his wife and wearing a cast on his broken right hand.
When the waitress, who didn't recognize the veteran San Francisco 49ers quarterback, asked him how he suffered the injury, he said sheepishly, "playing football."
The waitress replied, "Oh, dear, aren't you too old to be doing that sort of thing?"
The other patrons in the restaurant laughed, but Montana hopes to get the last laugh this year.
At 36, when most quarterbacks are ready for a pipe and slippers, Montana will try to prove he's not too old to play even after an 18-month layoff.
If Montana weren't so boyish looking, it would be a perfect role for Jack Palance. The old gunfighter attempts to show he hasn't lost his touch. Montana probably can do a one-handed push-up.
As the NFL interrupts its court fights, TV rebate battles and other off-the-field problems for its 73rd season, the player who will be watched the closest is Montana.
Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Randall Cunningham also is trying to make a comeback from a knee injury and he will get a lot of attention. But Montana is in a league of his own. He's the best of his time, maybe of all time.
He won his first Super Bowl in 1981 at age 25. He underwent back surgery six years ago, two years after his second Super Bowl season, and some doctors suggested he should retire. He went on to win two more Super Bowl rings.
The last time we saw him on the football field was in the fourth quarter of the 1990 NFC title game. He was protecting a 13-12 lead over the New York Giants and was on the threshold of a fifth Super Bowl appearance when Leonard Marshall blindsided him and broke his hand.
After he left, Roger Craig lost a fumble and Matt Bahr kicked the field goal that ended the 49ers' "threepeat" dream.
Montana then missed all last season after undergoing elbow surgery.
Without him, the 49ers missed the playoffs. The league also wasn't the same. He is its No. 1 attraction.
That's why it was an encouraging sign that he was on hand Thursday when the 49ers opened training camp. He started out slowly, throwing only 40 passes a day, but he thinks he's ready.
L "I probably could play right now . . .if I had to," he said.
The 49ers will be happy if he's ready opening day. He's the only 49er left from the 1981 Super Bowl team, and his presence makes the 49ers a contender again. Not that he's looking at this as a last hurrah.
"I'd like to play two, three more years," he said.
Even if he comes back and wins the Super Bowl, he won't be ready to hang it up.
"If I win a Super Bowl, you sit there and think, 'God, it would be nice to just go out while you're on top.' [But] feeling so good about the way you played, you would want to come back and play another year or so," he said.
It's almost a Montana trademark that he has so much self-confidence that he's not just talking about coming back, he's talking about winning it all again.
Watching him try to do it will add a special flavor to this season.
Halfway through the two-week recess of the NFL's antitrust trial in Minneapolis, it's not surprising that the owners and players haven't made any progress on a settlement. Stan White, the Baltimore agent who represents one of the eight players suing, Frank Minnifield of the Cleveland Browns, said that "nothing of any substance" happened last week to close the gap between the two sides.
The owners will meet in Dallas tomorrow, but the hard-line faction opposing a settlement still has the votes to block any deal. It would take 21 votes to get the owners to approve a deal.
The big sticking point is that the players want free agency after four years and the owners are insisting on six years, including several restrictions such as a provision denying free agency to players making more than $1 million.
The trial resumes a week from tomorrow.
Pushing for expansion
Expansion is on hold while the owners await the results of the antitrust trial. But Sen. Al Gore's nomination as the Democratic vice presidential candidate adds something new to the mix. The NFL wouldn't exactly be thrilled to see Gore become vice president because he's been pushing the league to expand the past several years. When the league announced its expansion ** timetable, Gore, who's trying to get a team for Memphis, wanted to know why the league wasn't adding four teams instead of two.
If Gore becomes vice president and the NFL loses the trial and delays expansion, he's likely to ask why. The NFL expanded in 1976 without a collective bargaining agreement and has never come up with a reason for why it can't expand now without one.
The stadium deal