David Letterman's top 10 things heard at the president's...

Salmagundi

May 22, 1992|By Newsday.

David Letterman's top 10 things heard at the president's [fund raising] dinner:

10. "If you want sour cream on the potato, it's an extra five grand."

9. "Billy Dee Williams is right! Colt 45 sets the mood!"

8. "I'm sorry congressman -- no checks."

7. "Buchanan! More ice water at table six!"

6. "Look out! The president's eating sushi!"

5. "Hi. I'm Clarence Thomas -- and this is my gavel."

4. "Come on, Mrs. Bush! Crush another can on your head!"

3. "What time do the hookers get here?"

2. "You're incredibly wealthy too? What a coincidence!"

1. "Folger's Crystals?!"

* * * JUST before Baltimore's light rail line started rolling on a regular schedule came word out of Bombay, India, of an idea whose time may have come here, too. This is the Associated Press report:

"Passengers applauded as the 'Ladies' Special' -- a commuter train reserved for women only -- chugged out of Bombay's Churchgate Station. Policewomen stood guard at each car to keep men away.

"Normally, two and a half coaches in commuter trains are reserved for women. It is considered proper that Indian women, whether Hindu or Muslim, sit separately from men.

"One special train for women will be operated every evening on an experimental basis, said railway spokesman Mukul Marwah. Another train in the morning was also planned, he said.

"Ticket prices are the same as for other trains, he said."

* * * Not many may mourn the passing of the Yugo, whose American importer went belly up recently. Like Yugoslavia, where the car is manufactured, practically everything that could go wrong with it often did, earning it Consumer Reports magazine's lowest rating for reliability. Now, continuing civil strife in Yugoslavia has made it impossible to assure a regular supply of the two-door hatchbacks.

It is, perhaps, what might be expected of an automobile that debuted here in 1985 with upholstery like beach towels and keys that broke off in the ignition. If peace comes to the sundered parts of Yugoslavia, could the car make a comeback? Stranger things have happened. So it's worth asking what would it come back ? A Serbo? A Croato? A Slovo? And would it come assembled, or in parts?

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