Lower expectations

COPING

May 19, 1992|By Barbara Turk, M.S. | Barbara Turk, M.S.,Contributing Writer

Seems as though things never turn out the way you want them. You look forward to a picnic and it rains, or you plan on a quiet evening at home (finally!) and your neighbor drops by and plants himself on your sofa, or you play matchmaker and they hate each other.

Why does life seem to rain on your parade?

Life sometimes has a way of doing that. But, to minimize your disappointment, take a look at two things:

*Expectations. When you let yourself get carried away by high expectations (you just know these two people were meant for each other, for instance), you set yourself up to crash if things don't work out.

*Control. Having things the way you want them is sometimes out of your control (it rains on your picnic, for example), and sometimes in your control (telling your neighbor that this is not a convenient visiting time, for instance).

Keeping your expectations from taking over, controlling what you can control and having the flexibility to roll with the punches when you don't have control will keep your disappointment at a minimum.

Barbara Turk is a psychotherapist in private practice.

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