We're Thinking Positive, For A Change

April 26, 1992|By Phil Greenfield

I tell you, it's been a tough spring.

Money-wise, don't ask. These furloughs are nasty business. My bank teller fainted last week -- Iasked for a deposit slip. I hope Bobby Neall's "Rainy Day Fund" is doing better than mine.

There were some violent incidents over at my work place, as you've all read. For a while at Annapolis High School, we were dividing the school day into rounds instead of periods.

Politically, what canI tell you? Government in Maryland seems to be constructed along thelines of a charitable institution. Unfortunately, that charity is the United Way. Thanks to you, it steals from all of us. I wonder if anyone has considered privatization of the Maryland General Assembly asan answer to the state's fiscal crisis. Just a thought.

The Annapolis City Council, ever in the vanguard of superfluous lawmaking, nowmakes sexual harassment illegal within city limits. Another dream bites the dust. I always wondered what it would be like to pinch a woman inside a nuclear-free zone. Now, it'll cost me a trip to the slammer to find out. Rats!

It's enough to drive you to drink. So I went over to the Elks Club and ordered a Pink Lady. They wouldn't serve meone. Then I asked for a Black Russian, and they told me to leave.

But, I've never been one to dwell on the negatives and, frankly, I'mtired of wallowing in self-pity. Enough doom and gloom. In fact, as we head into the summer months with nary an orange cone clogging up arefurbished U.S. 50, I'm going to start thinking more positively.

Focus. Visualize.

* Hmmm. . . Rick Sutcliffe makes me smile. So does Juan Bell's absence. I don't miss Jeff Ballard and Jeff Robinson either, to tell you the truth.

* There's a fair chance that Steny Hoyer -- Prince George's County's answer to Eldridge Gerry -- might lose his re-election bid in the congressional district he ordered fromroom service. Chuckle.

* Not enough good cops on the streets these days? Rubbish! Anyone who thinks that, hasn't tried picking up a hooker on West Street lately, that's for sure. Go blue!

* Woodward and Lothrop is on the job, vigilantly protecting the delicate ecosystem of Parole.

* Sen. John Cade comes from Anne Arundel County. If the governor hadn't been in hock to him, we'd barely be able to afforda can of paint to touch up the portable classrooms over at BroadneckHigh. As it was, we did OK with our share of the gravy. Tsk, tsk. Look at poor Howard County. Ouch!

* I know, I know; the Board of Education is on the verge of excising some of your kid's best teachers. But be of good cheer! The board's "Metacognition" program is going great guns, and its fleet of resource teachers, pupil personnel workers, consultants, assistants and testing coordinators is still in place,pumping out reams of paper on all our behalfs. If those folks shouldever get around to meeting your children, I just know they'll be a big help to them!

* The Washington Bullets are out of their misery -- for a few months anyway.

* You've got to love the irony. Remember when the local sheriff was considered one of the good guys?

* Perot is coming!

Wait a minute! Look at this newspaper! The positive thinking. . . It's working!

School employees are getting money back since cuts were less than anticipated . . . 80 percent of one day's pay. Well, it's something.

Those positive vibes paid off! Blessyou, Norman Vincent Peale.

Let's see now, 80 percent of one day'spay: How much is that in compact discs anyway?

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