This is your loyal correspondent, checking in from my magnificent office high atop the imposing edifice on Calvert Street we like to call The Sun Building.
You'll be glad to know I've been hard at work upholding Good Ole Amendment No. 1.
Yes, somewhere in the Great Beyond, our founding fathers are looking down through the windows of my office -- and smiling proudly. "That Michael J. Davies is doing a splendid job in Baltimore," they're saying.
Hey! Wait a minute guys! You're looking into the publisher's office! His name is spelled D-A-V-I-E-S. I'm Michael D-A-V-I-S.
My office is the one down the hall and to the left. That's right. The one with the 5-foot poster of Bruce Springsteen.
To eliminate any confusion, you should contact me using the college nickname we discussed in a previous column, Snack Guy. Since last we met, I've received a fat stack of notes, postcards, typed letters and faxes from all over the greater Baltimore metropolitan area all addressed to Snack Guy.
Here's a brief summary of the comments and suggestions:
1.) My life would be in grave jeopardy if we ever dropped Dave Barry's column, even on the composing room floor. 2.) Life would be brighter for many if we reinstituted a crossword puzzle. 3.) Mike Klingaman's Real Dirt column, illustrated by editorial cartoonist Mike Lane, is an instant hit. 4.) Way Back When, our weekly page of old-timey photos, is fun to look at, especially if your picture is in it. 5.) At least one nice person inquired about Snack Guy's astrological sign. It's Taurus, like the Ford sedan.
I turned 40 on one of those Taurus days, April 22, and, sadly, passed this mark without realizing one of my life's dreams: learning to polka.
Should anyone be interested in rectifying this for me, please write, being sure to include those little dance diagrams with feet in silhouette. Or, better still, convince me you are the polka-holic of my dreams, someone who could actually teach me well enough so I won't crush my wife's feet if we ever vacation in Milwaukee. I've already got the beer-and-sausages part down.
Snack Guy Wants to Polka
501 N. Calvert St.
Baltimore, Md. 21278
' Or fax: (410) 783-2519.