Where's Jim? It's Kaat to be good CBS analyst to visit Oriole Park tomorrow


April 17, 1992|By RAY FRAGER

So I have this great idea for CBS. And I call and I call and I call. But, no, they're too busy drinking champagne, celebrating being No. 1 and picking on Dan Rather. (I heard he got really mad when Lesley Stahl sneaked up and gave him a wedgie.)

sportscaster, was able to get on the air through the Sunshine Foundation, which grants wishes for terminally and chronically ill


Won't you let me take you on a sea cruise: The boss was appearing odd. What was all that white stuff on his lips? It looked as if he'd gotten a milk mustache from parking himself under Elsie the cow.

"How you doing, boss?" I said, before thinking of a clever way to ask about that gunk on his mouth. "What's that gunk on your mouth?"

The boss explained, and, to make a long story short -- and why should I take any more space in my column quoting him? -- he was so impressed by Dennis Conner's performance in the America's Cup races that he'd decided to emulate the zinc-oxide look.

Well, any hero of my boss is a hero of mine. I, too, will attempt to adopt the Dennis Conner look. Pass me that doughnut.

Things My Boss Wants To Know: Is it true that if the lights fail during a Sunday night baseball game, the contingency plan is to hang one of Jon Miller's ties above the field? . . . Once it locks up postseason rights to Rockville T-ball leagues, will WTEM finally debut? . . . Was part of the NHL strike settlement a guarantee that televised games won't be preceded by pro beach volleyball?

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