It just wouldn't be New Year's without the annual list of predictions and resolutions from yours truly, sports fans.
Some of these predictions and resolutions are serious while others are simply tongue-in-cheek, good-natured locker room kidding. By all means, there is no intent here to hurt anyone's feelings.
You determine those that are serious and those that are not. Someof them may require county sports knowledge to understand. You have to be a real fan to get them all.
If you don't get any of them, just call me on the 24-hour Sportsline at 647-2499, and I will gladly explain them to you.
Prediction: Severna Park's Andy Borland will celebrate his 20th season as head football coach by letting his hair grow for the first time since seventh grade, start wearing all black, a cowboy hat, snake-skinned boots, leave tickets for Elvis at the Falcons' will-call, go to the red-gun offense and multi-laterals on kickoffs and adopt the slogan of "Too Legit to Quit" for 1992.
Resolution: To stay away from the guy at Severna Park games.
Prediction: Taking the cue of established TV magazines such as "60 Minutes" with Mike Wallace and "48 Hours" with Dan Rather, Annapolis football coachRoy Brown will host his own show in September. It will be appropriately called "30 Seconds of Football Strategy" with Roy Brown.
Resolution: Not to bring up those final 30 seconds of the Annapolis-Old Mill football game again.
Prediction: Annapolis High will win the 4Acounty and Region IV football titles in 1992.
Prediction: Football will return to Anne Arundel Community College with Broadneck coach Jeff Herrick returning to coach his alma mater. Herrick, an AACC Hallof Famer, will wear two hats, also remaining as head coach at Broadneck.
Since Herrick obviously doesn't spend much time on offense, that will free him up to coach the Fighting Pioneers right down the street from Broadneck.
Resolution: To get off the backs of the county's collection of high school football riverboat gamblers and just accept the fact that they are card-carrying members of the "Run, Run, Run, Punt and Hope for a Fumble Lodge."
Prediction: With Dennie DeWitt joining Kenny Dunn at South River this spring as assistant baseball coach, some enterprising TV executive will broadcast all the Seahawks games and end up with the most hilarious sitcom on cable TV.
Resolution: To send help to the South River players when DeWitt and Dunn start screaming and hollering at the players, then themselves.
Prediction: Southern's veteran hoop coach Tom Albright will lobby theGeneral Assembly for a redistricting alignment that will make his Dawgs a member of either Prince George's or Calvert counties.
Resolution: To try and remember that "Tom Terrific" and his Southern program is still a member of Anne Arundel County when they want it to be.
Prediction: Despite opposition from Southern's Albright, Annapolis and South River high schools will merge. Taking a page from those ingenious innovators at North County, the new school will be named SouthCounty High.
The merger will become necessary because Dunn is head basketball and baseball coach at South River, but assistant football coach at Annapolis. In addition, DeWitt is head indoor track coach at Annapolis but will be an assistant to Dunn in baseball this spring.
Also, Annapolis administrator Mike Codd, who has coached at several schools, will be on standby.
Resolution: When South County opens its doors in 1992-1993 and basketball season starts, I promise notto make any jokes about head coach John Brady sitting on one end of the bench and assistant Jack Jordan balancing it on the other end.
Prediction: Anne Arundel Community College hoop coach Mark Amatucci finally will escape and get back into coaching at the NCAA Division Ilevel as the successor to the retiring "Tark the Shark" Jerry Tarkanian at the UNLV. As coach of the Running Rebs, Amatucci will be called "Mark the Shark."
Resolution: To remember to call Amatucci and AACC athletic director Buddy Beardmore once a week to remind them thatgrades have to be checked.
Prediction: With his background in security and knack for remembering players' names, Mike Miles will return to the AACC staff as an academic monitor. Hillory Dean will be named his assistant and when asked about his new job will say, "No comment."
Resolution: To try and appreciate coaches who don't have the time to read important things, like the rules.
Prediction: The county will start an Assistant Coaches Hall of Fame with the following criteria for induction:
1) Have to know how to take orders and whereto get coffee and doughnuts; 2) Must have a Maryland license to drive the team bus and always have enough quarters in your pocket for thelaundromat (team uniforms have to be washed); 3) Be willing to relocate and take the Brien McMurray-Denis Schanberger two-credit course at AACC, "Have Job will Travel;" 4) Possess no recognizable traits that will indicate you could replace the head coach if he starts losing.