Six geese a-laying? One can only imagine the mess.
A partridge in a pear tree? No.
No, what your true love gives to you this holiday season can be better, brighter and certainly more useful, especially if travel's a passion.
For the fitness-minded traveler, a mini-scale weighs 13 ounces, measures about the circumference of a drink coaster. With the ball of one foot, step on the scale, pressing both
hands against a wall for support. Wait for the tone, get a readout of your weight. $59.95 from the Sharper Image, or call (800) 344-4444.
Also at Sharper Image: A handsome Duet Clock gives the current time back home too. "Push" the flag on the Universal Globe and hear that country's national anthem. Sound Soother, a portable environmental sound machine, helps a traveler relax by producing soothing natural sounds. Talking Translator provides instant verbal translation in five languages.
Put travel at your fingertips. A hand-held computer called the Concierge Travel Directory gives phones, restaurants, hotels, car rentals, weather and other info on 22 U.S. cities. Doubles as calculator, currency converter and alarm clock. $69.95 plus $4 shipping from Traveler's Checklist, (203) 364-0144, weekdays 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m..
For the traveler who has everything -- a supersonic vacation package! Fly to London one way on the Concorde, Club Class return, transfers in a chauffeur-driven private car plus three nights luxury hotel. Only $8,000 to $9,000 per couple. Call British Airways, (800) 876-2200.
For $90, the ultimate Swiss Army knife from Eddie Bauer performs 16 functions. Bauer also stocks a compact travel massager. And for the person who loves Australia but can't afford it, give the next best thing: a Bauer boomerang. They can always (heh, heh) return it.
The Rand McNally catalog is a traveler's wish book, including language tapes, converter kits, destination videocassettes, globe pendant of colored glass, electric windshield scraper, travel-sized coffee maker, authentic German beer coasters, etc. (800) 234-0679.
For the unusual, leave it to Hammacher Schlemmer: a jog-walk pedometer with AM-FM-cassette player, electronic phrase speaking translator, wallet-sized travel alarm clock, original English heated towel stand. Call (800) 543-3366 any time.