Your spouse says you need to work on your marriage. You don't need more work. And, besides, a marriage shouldn't need work. The relationship should just come naturally, be spontaneous -- right?
Spontaneous would be nice, but that's not happening or your spouse wouldn't be advocating "work."
With job, chores, kids, finances -- that stressful stuff -- you can't muster the effort to "work" on your marriage.
Since you associate it with stressful things, the word "work" is getting in the way here. It puts your marriage in the category of obligation when you already feel stressed out by so many obligations.
So, how do you change that?
Do two things. First, substitute the
word enjoy for work. Take the mindset that your marriage is to be enjoyed, an oasis in the midst of obligations.