'Ice' is intemperately bad

October 23, 1991|By Carrie Rickey | Carrie Rickey,Knight-Ridder

"Cool as Ice" stars rapper Vanilla Ice in his movie debut as a biker/ musician smitten by a fresh-scrubbed honors student. Inevitably, the bad boy proves himself worthy of the good girl -- a plot that follows the well-worn path of many Elvis movies.

Alas, Vanilla Ice is no Elvis.

In "Cool as Ice," the rapper plays Johnny Van Owen, a rebel without applause. With his posse, Johnny performs at nameless roadhouses, and when the show is over, collects women's phone numbers along with his pay. But women don't interest Johnny as much as his banana-yellow motorcycle.

All that changes when, zooming down the two-lane blacktop astride his fuel-injected banana, Johnny sees a pretty brunette astride her chestnut pony. Her horse rears. He pulls a wheelie. Call it love at first near-collision.

Where's "Cool as Ice" at? Oh, about zero.

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