You might find them on TV
Texas football fans had better hope that their team has more on the ball than the editors of the school's athletic department magazine, Stampede.
In its most recent issue, the magazine devoted four pages to a list of "missing" lettermen and urged readers to contact the school if they had any knowledge of the ex-Longhorns' whereabouts.
Included on the list of the missing: Cleveland Browns running back Eric Metcalf, New England Patriots center Gene Chilton and pitcher Bruce Ruffin of the Philadelphia Phillies.
Gain for his pain
Joe Montana has found his elbow injury to be a plus in at least one respect. The San Francisco 49ers quarterback is now a spokesman for a pain reliever.
Montana, who had surgery Wednesday to reattach a torn tendon in his right elbow, joins tennis player Jimmy Connors in a 30-second television commercial in which both discuss their aches and pains.
Montana: "I'm hurting, Jimmy. . . . I'm talking football pain."
Connors: "So [take the medication]. I did it. You can do it."
5) 49ers lament: Were it only that easy.
Tomahawks, not Atlanta Hawks
How thoroughly have the upstart Atlanta Braves captivated their city? With the Braves on TV in the second game of the NL playoffs Thursday night, a crowd estimated at 1,200 showed up at the Omni (capacity 16,371) for an NBA exhibition game between the Hawks and the Dallas Mavericks. And that's with a $4 ticket promotion by a local pizza establishment.
From fast break to fast brakes
How is former Rutgers and NBA player James Bailey keeping busy these days?
According to National Dragster, the weekly publication of the National Hot Rod Association, Bailey is racing at tracks in New York and New Jersey.
49ers coach George Seifert, after a reporter noted that he's been called everything from "evasive" to "a jerk": "Let's go with 'evasive.' It sounds better than 'jerk,' "