There he goes againColts owner Bob Irsay stopped to meet...

Fumbles and follies

September 29, 1991

There he goes again

Colts owner Bob Irsay stopped to meet with reporters after the team dropped to 0-4 last week. He came up with vintage stuff:

* On his mood: "I would be a liar to say -- and I'm Catholic -- that I'm satisfied, because I'm not."

* On Buddy Ryan: "I could bring in the little guy from Philadelphia, but that's not the answer."

* On turning it around: "We have to turn around the internal stuff around. That's what we're trying to do, but we're running out of time."

* On finding candidates for the head-coaching job: "It's not a matter of candidates. It's like college. You learn from the professor. You get your lessons and then you're ready, but here we get our lessons and the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing."

* Irsay then asked the reporters: "What would you do?" When one said if he wanted to give him the team, he'd make a hTC decision, Irsay said, "You bring in $150 million tomorrow and you got it."

* On his success as a businessman: "I've been successful running about 15 corporations. I'm worth a couple of bucks. This is the worst loss I've ever had in my entire life." When he was asked if he meant that game, he said, "No, just the football team in itself is a loss."

* On finding answers: "I've got to find out what's going on. I might just have to come over and stay here 7 days a week, go to the workouts, watch the coaches and really get involved."

The last laugh

In his book, "Confessions of a Coach," Norm Sloan, the former University of Florida basketball coach who was forced to resign in 1989 in the wake of allegations concerning NCAA violations, talked about the time he was on the staff of The Citadel with Al Davis.

When Davis said his goal was to own a pro football team, Sloan said: "It was all I could do to keep from laughing out loud. Here was Al, making the same $5,200 a year I was making, driving an old beat-up Chevrolet. And he was going to own a pro football team. Yuk-yuk-yuk."

With or without syrup?

The Jets' Pat Leahy, who missed the 28-yard overtime field-goal attempt against the Bears on Monday night, said he got home at about 6 a.m. Tuesday.

"My wife said: 'You've been through this. It's no big deal.' As she threw the pancakes at me, she said, 'It's no big deal.' "

Poor hosts

The Cardinals drew their second-biggest crowd (68,814) since their move from St. Louis to Phoenix and lost, 17-9, last week.

"It's like inviting friends over to your house and the roast gets burned," Ron Wolfley said.

The Cardinals are host to the Patriots today and may not get 40,000.

Did McMahon burn his bridges?

After Jim McMahon said the Eagles have more talent than the 1985 Bears, former Bear Dan Hampton said, "I guess he's trying to suck up to those guys in the green helmets to make some new friends, because I don't think he's got many here."

Blowing smoke

Marty Schottenheimer, the coach of the Chiefs, on Dan Henning's coaching of the 0-4 Chargers: "I'm being very candid with you when I say that's a very well-coached football team that's played every snap. They just have not been able to get over the hump, but, in my opinion, it has nothing to do with the coaching.

"They're very well-coached, but they're snakebit. I see the San Diego Chargers as a damn good football team, and, believe me, that's not a patronizing statement."

It isn't?

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