Let wisdom be your guide in love

COPING

September 24, 1991|By Barbara Turk, M.S.

There's something you're yearning to do: Marry the person you love, change careers, follow a new lifestyle. But, whatever it is, you haven't done it. It's as though your heart says "go," but your head says "stop." It's very confusing.

Of course it is. Sounds as though there's a war going on between your heart and your head. Using the marriage example given:

* Your head lectures "This may not be the right person for you." (Maybe he/she is immature or irresponsible . . .)

* Your head responds "Yes, but I love him. And, anyway, it may turn out OK even so. Love, conquers all, you know!"

* Well, you think, if your head and your heart disagree like that, then what? Do you stay stuck in that revolving door for the rest of your life?

Let's hope not. While it's important to listen to both your head and your heart whenever making decisions, it's most important to pay attention to your Wisdom. Wisdom -- your wisdom -- is that inner sense of things that points the way to what's best for you. It will combine the merits of heart and head and will -- if you follow it -- cause you to make wise decisions. And those kinds of decisions will be enriching for you throughout your lifetime.

Barbara Turk is a psychotherapist in private practice.

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