Get this guy a schedule
In one of his final news conferences before his first game, Dick MacPherson, the new coach of the New England Patriots, was talking about what he had tried to accomplish in the preseason.
"We have tailored everything we've done in preseason and practice," MacPherson said, "to peak in Indianapolis on Sunday at 1 o'clock."
Someone pointed out to MacPherson that the game didn't start at 1.
". . . well, to peak at 2 o'clock."
Uh, not at 2, either.
". . . to peak at whenever."
Today's game starts at 4 o'clock. Somebody better make sure MacPherson has a wakeup call.
The trainer, not the coach, has been blamed for a German soccer team's disappointing start.
Fortuna Dusseldorf sacked trainer Josef Hickersberger on Wednesday. The 43-year-old Austrian was blamed for the club's miserable start to the season.
After a 3-1 defeat by Borussia Moenchengladbach on Tuesday, Fortuna still hasn't scored a point in six games.
But what will the names be?
An average of one new major-league stadium will open every year in the United States for the next 10 years, according to an Associated Press study. Also, 11 new NBA arenas are to be built over the next decade.
What do they know anyway?
Oregon State is the worst team in college football, according to Penthouse magazine's "20 Worst Teams" list, in the October issue.
Cincinnati is No. 2, followed by Boston College, Southern Methodist, Cal State Fullerton, Northwestern, Vanderbilt, Akron, New Mexico and Northern Illinois.
Columbia, 1-9 last year, is off the list after seven years. Not that the Lions are improving, though.
"They are atrocious, even by Ivy League standards," the magazine said.
Track and field promoter Al Franken, on prospects for his promoting a Mike Powell-Carl Lewis rematch in the long jump: "I'd love to have Powell, great guy. But we're not terribly friendly with Lewis and his manager, Joe Douglas. But that's life, right? Sometimes you just have to work with people you don't like."