Headline writers at New York's newspapers had a field day with the controversy over the benching of Don Mattingly by the New York Yankees because of the length of his hair. Here is some of their handywork:
The New York Times (which displayed the story on its front page): "Mattingly Chooses/Seat on Yank Bench/Over Barber's Chair."
Newsday: "Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow?"
The Daily News: "BRONX BARBERS"
The Post: "PLAY BALD!"
Get it off your chest
Shirtless golfers fear their strokes are numbered at the public golf courses around Chicago.
The Cook County Forest Preserve District is thinking about banning bare-chested players at its 10 public golf courses and three driving ranges -- with violators subject to a $500 fine.
"It seems like they'd have better things to do than deal with pettiness like this," said Paul Boulter, who advocates the shirtless look.
But the board is responding to about 100 complaints from golfers who consider it a serious breach of etiquette -- and an eyesore.
"A number of people asked, 'How come you let these people run around half naked?'" said Robert Gooley, the board member who proposed the measure. "They said some of the men are so fat they should not only be wearing shirts, but wearing bras, too."
George Steinbrenner, who declined to criticize the decision by Yankees manager Stump Merrill to bench Mattingly: "You know I never second-guess my people."
Made in the shade
Diego Maradona, the Argentine player serving a 15-month international suspension for drug use, was quoted as saying that he wants "a life in the shade" to forget the stress of being a soccer star.
"I have left soccer behind my back for the time being," Maradona said in an interview with Italy's widely circulated daily La Repubblica.
Bubba Paris, 49ers tackle, who after reporting to camp at 327 pounds, was put on a strict private conditioning regimen: "I know now it's possible to eat a lot of food and still lose weight."