ALTHOUGH POP SINGER Patti LaBelle wowed the audiences at the new Pier Six Concert Pavilion this weekend, she surely didn't "wow" Mayor Kurt Schmoke Saturday night.
The singer, in fact, stood up Hizzoner, who waited about 45 minutes to present her with a key to the city.
When she finally appeared on stage to acknowledge his presence and was told the mayor had gone, an unabashed LaBelle turned to the audience and exclaimed: "I'm scared of that man!"
SPEAKING OF SINGERS, don't forget to catch former Oriole turned Milwaukee Brewer Rick Dempsey tonight at Christopher's Timonium. The "Demper" will be crooning along with the band Tiffany.
THE MARYLAND ART Place presents "Diverse Works 1991" this weekend at the Theatre Project. MAP tells us we should be ready to experience the most "outrageous, entertaining and irreverent" performance we've ever seen. For reservations, call 962-8565.
THE MONSTER MASH: Say you like old classic horror films, eh? Well, have we got great news for you! This Saturday and Sunday, the Baltimore Horror and Fantasy Film Society is staging FANEX 5 at the Sheraton North in Towson. Film buffs from all over the country attend this annual convention, which features more than 25 features films as well as appearances by guest stars like actor John Agar, who appeared in numerous movies with John Wayne as well as such horror classics as "Revenge of the Creature" and "Tarantula." Also appearing at FANEX will be Yvette Vickers, who is best remembered for her role in "Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman" and "The Giant Leeches." Oh my.
THREE STOOGES FANS at the convention won't want to miss Janie Howard Hanky, who's the daughter of Curly Howard and lives in Maryland. Hanky will speak about her father and famous uncles Moe and Shemp. And who could resist Count Gore De Vol, a former horror show host from Channel 20, who'll introduce one of the worst horror films ever made? Double oh my. Tickets are available at the door or by calling 665-1198.
A SINGULAR OBSESSION: Socially Active Savvy Singles -- known as S.A.S.S. -- is hosting its bash of the summer season Saturday night at the studio at Art & Architectural Design downtown. Call sassy single Elaine McCloud at 233-6060 for tickets.
NAME DROPPING: Maybe you caught local author Caroline Miller on Lifetime Cable's "Image Workshop" last week. Caroline's making the rounds to promote her second book "Feeding the Soul," on eating disorders, which is heading for a second printing. . . . We're happy to report that one of Baltimore's favorite captains, Bill Eggert, has resurfaced with Ed Kane's fleet of water taxis, where he's shuttling passengers throughout the harbor. . . . Goodbyes are in order for the Baltimore Center for HTC the Performing Arts' super press rep, Sarah Pedroni, who's leaving to have her first baby, due in three weeks. . . . The Mount Washington Tavern presents guest barkeeps Cathy Schuester, Natasha Wesker, Mark Wesker and Burke Doar for the benefit of the Choice Program for Inner City Kids, starting at 9 tonight.
AND FINALLY, we're happy to report that Channel 13 has re-hired one of the nicest people around town -- Joyce Kashima. Joyce is responsible for scheduling outside appearances for the news crew and she was sorely missed.