Come, hear Uncle John's reprimand
John Schuerholz, general manager of the Atlanta Braves, was not amused when two long-haired spectators -- wearing nothing but tennis shoes -- jumped out of the stands, ran along the first-base line and slid into home plate during a recent game at Atlanta-Fulton County Stadium.
"They ought to take those two guys just as they are and put them in an unoccupied cage at the zoo," he said. "It was like they were two hippies out of the '60s that just woke up from a Grateful Dead concert."
It had a familiar tune
National anthems were not played at University Games medal ceremonies, but flags were raised to the accompaniment of the anthem of the International Federation of University Sports, the governing body for the games.
It was confusing for those who didn't know the procedure.
After hearing the tune for the eighth time in one evening, a spectator was heard to say, "I don't know which country that is, but they're winning everything!"
On the road again
Drag racer Eddie Hill spends much of his time on the road between races. After packing and unpacking during a recent 7,711-mile trip for National Hot Rod Association events, Hill said, "Sometimes a cracked block or a bad blower is easier to cope with than not having any toothpaste or a clean uniform to put on in the morning."
All in the family
Blackie Sherrod of the Dallas Morning News writes that in Judy Nelson's lawsuit against former lover Martina Navratilova, "she asks visitation privileges for the couple's dog."
One man's not-so-impartial opinion
Eric Dickerson is nearly 31, and one NFL personnel director rates him as only the 37th-best running back in the league, but the Indianapolis Colt says it would make good sense for fantasy-league players to grab him.
"I'm ready to go," Dickerson told Len Pasquarelli of the Atlanta Journal. "If I get the cracks, whoosh, man, look out. Anybody who says there's no spring left in these legs . . . well, ask the first tackler who tries to hit me."
Getting the bugs out
Wally Dallenbach Jr. has a new sponsor for his Winston Cup team -- Orkin Pest Control. He has named his car "The Exterminator."
On the tee
Richard Boone, a 15-handicapper from Power Springs, Ga., didn't hesitate in accepting a 1991 Geo for making a hole-in-one in a charity tournament, even though it meant he would lose his amateur status.
"I'm in real estate and a builder," he said. "The way the market is, I need it to pay bills. First, though, I'm going to get a status tag for the car that says, 'Golf Pro.' "