RACE AT A GLANCE: Eight brown horses chase each other 1 3/16ths miles in frenzied effort to stave off inevitable employment in some seedy local circus.
TODAY'S PROFILE: Corporate Report. Forlorn-looking horse trained by motor mouth Wayne Lukas, who denies his entry was seen last week pulling a plow on an Amish farm in Pennsylvania.
FALSE ALARM: Authorities summoned to Old Hilltop to investigate remains of ex-Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa,
supposedly found buried under Stall 26. Turned out to be an old harness.
INFIELD UPDATE: Preakness infield now officially under auspices of Federal Witness Protection Program, since so many people enter crowd and are never seen again.