Talk about taking your toys and going home. Hilda Mae Snoops has performed the adult equivalent.
The governor's first buddy is miffed that people are making fun of all the neat furniture and stuff she put in the Governor's Mansion.
The Snoopster's taken a nutty and wants to back a U-Haul up to State Circle to teach everyone a lesson.
Serves us right. Here's a woman of obvious taste (check out her best buddy) who's trying to keepthe Governor's Mansion from looking like Jed Clampett and Granny have moved in with Jethro and Elly Mae.
And what have we done? We've hurt her feelings, even though she's too strong a woman to admit it.
When asked if she was titting for someone else's tat, HMS replied:"What's spiteful? If the state doesn't appreciate (the redecoration), I'll take it back. We want to put it in a place where it will be appreciated."
But what's HMS going to do with all that furniture?
Surely it's too much stuff for the Willie and Hilda love nest in Pasadena, even if they do have two town houses. Ditto the Ocean City digs.
We're not talking about Flintstones drinking glasses and Ikea. We're talking about fancy rugs, artwork, stained glass, Waterford crystal chandeliers and silverware, not to mention that $169,500 fountain on the back lawn (shades of Jethro Bodine and the cement pond).
As a public service, then, here are 10 things Hilda Mae Snoops can dowith the furniture and fountain (ignoring the obvious one, of course):
1) Pile it out by the curb and hope the garbage men take it away.
2) Wait for Halloween and hand it out to trick-or-treaters.
3) Redecorate the governor's yacht.
4) Advertise in the Sun classifieds and unload the stuff (539-7700, operators are standing by).
5) Hand it over to Center Stage for its auction.
6) Give it to some other governor, preferably one in a state that doesn't know any better.
7) Rent one of those self-storage bins and save it in case Willie Don gets to be ruler for life and the mansion becomes his palace.
8) Burn it in the new medical waste incinerator at Hawkins Point.
9) Set up a gubernatorial display in Haussner's.
10) Donate it to Sarah's House and give the women there a taste of the good life.Lord knows, they deserve it.
A KEY ERROR
Now that you mention it . . .
When leaving your car at the Jiffy Lube on Route 2 in Pasadena, be sure to leave your keys behind as well.
If you don't, you're probably going to look like a complete fool when returning two hours later to find the car still sitting in the bay, taking up valuable space.
The quivering voice of experience.
Easily lost in the excitement of Broadneck's incredible triple-overtime victory over Old Mill in the boys 4A Region IV semifinals last week was Bruins senior guard Johnny Williams leaving the mid-court celebration to go over to the opposition's bench to console the losing players, who sat with their heads bowed.
Good luck trying to find a classier athlete than Williams, both on and off the court.
Speaking of Broadneck, how many of you were impressed by the moxie displayed by 7-foot-2Boris Beck during the region playoffs?
The transfer from Hamburg,Germany, supposedly couldn't dribble and chew gum at the same time when first arriving at Broadneck, and was expected to buckle under theintense pressure of 4A competition.
Yet, there he was in last week's region playoffs, scraping off the rust from early-season inactivity and aggressively calling for the ball on each possession while averaging 20.3 points in three games, including 22 in Friday's 71-69 loss to Annapolis in the finals.
Those in attendance at Thursday night's Class 4A Region IV girls semifinal game between host Old Mill and Severna Park weren't exactly treated to a good ol' fashion shootout. The Patriots went 16-for-66 from the floor, and Severna Park was 14-for-48.
Old Mill coach Pat Chance attributed her team's inaccuracy to extreme nervousness.
Emerging from the locker room aftera halftime talk, Chance said, "These girls are so tight, if you stroked their heads you'd probably hit a C chord."