So, you're having a wedding. Well, bully for you. We don't have anything against marriage. In fact, we love the concept. But this wedding stuff, well, let's just say that unless you can afford a personal wedding planner, prepare to live a nightmare.
Since we probably can't talk you out of this wedding thing, we offer you some advice that comes by way of bridal wear designer Susan Lane and the experts at Supercuts Inc., a national chain of hair salons.
Let's start with the wedding gown and the question of wearing white.
Lane says if you've got your heart set on white, wear it. In fact, most women who choose ivory or antique because they think white is inappropriate would do better to go ahead and wear white. It's more flattering.
If you've been married four times and can't bring yourself to walk down the aisle in white or feel it just doesn't flatter you, choose a dress with a blush-colored lining.
Or do what we'd do: Wear black; it's slimming.
On to your hair.
If you're considering changing your hairstyle, do it at least six months before your wedding day. This gives you a chance to adjust to the new style and also to let it grow out if it makes you look like a wet chicken.
NTC If you want a perm, get one at least three months before the wedding. You don't want to look like you jammed your finger into an electrical outlet.
If you want a relaxer, get one a couple weeks before the big day. You don't want to look as if you've just had your head shellacked.
Always take your headpiece to your hairstylist before your wedding day. You'll be more relaxed if you know that your hair and veil will complement each other.
Or do what we'd do: Ditch the veil.
Gentlemen: Get a haircut about a week before the wedding. This way you will not look like you are 12 years old the day of your wedding.
Now really, wouldn't it be easier to get a faux Elvis to help you tie the knot in a little black-velvet-lined Las Vegas chapel?