Richard Hughes heads for Va. (and other forecasts)

PHILIP MOELLER

January 02, 1991|By PHILIP MOELLER | PHILIP MOELLER,SUN BUSINESS EDITOR

New Year's Resolutions and Predictions, economically packaged in a single offering:

The government will issue only one economic report each month, lumping all the bad news into one massive statistical release that no one will be able to understand. Because of the material's complexity, TV reports will simply display a "thumbs up" or "thumbs down" graphic for a few seconds each month. Even unemployed consumers will feel better and go out and spend lots of money. There will never be another recession.

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The port of Baltimore will pay union leader Richard P. Hughes Jr. $1 million to move to Norfolk and represent dockworkers there. Bud O'Malley, head of the Maryland Port Administration, will accompany Mr. Hughes as far as the Maryland-Virginia state line but will be unable to return because of state budget cuts.

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MNC Financial, parent company of Maryland National Bank, will get bought for a song by either Banc One, John B. McCoy's aggressive (and profitable) holding company in Columbus, Ohio, or NCNB, the Charlotte-based regional banking powerhouse. Both banking companies are already cashing in on bargain-basement purchases of Texas banks. They would not scoff at cheap access to the rich Maryland market, especially if banking regulators were interested in cutting a deal to curb their exposure to MNC's problems with no current outlays from the hard-pressed Federal Deposit Insurance Corp.

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Last year's monumental agreement to deal with the federal budget deficit will be succeeded by 1991's monumental agreement to deal with the federal budget deficit. The Fox network will buy serial rights.

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The Sun Business section will not make any mistakes in 1991. Telephones in the department will be answered before the third ring, with a courteous "How may we help you?" Every promotion and business award will be published in full. There will be no bad news.

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Gov. William Donald Schaefer will threaten to resign unless at least 70 percent of the voters tell him how much his hard work is appreciated.

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Today is the best day in the history of the world to buy a home. But if you fall down and break a leg and can't buy one today, don't panic. Tomorrow also will be the best day ever to buy a home.

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Mayor Kurt L. Schmoke says he will consider a non-academic as superintendent of Baltimore public schools. Many area executives are available, because their companies have been sold, bankrupted or dismantled. The mayor will pick Frank Robinson instead, saying that what he meant all along was that he wanted a good manager.

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Congress will ban 30-minute commercials masquerading as programming, after a Canadian tourism film causes everyone in Buffalo, N.Y., to leave the country.

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By 1997, every adult in Baltimore will have gone through one of the city's many leadership programs.

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Maryland's light-rail line will lose a fortune, surprising no one.

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Baltimore's newest list of most popular guys will include Norman Harris, Howard Hoddick, Robert Kelly, Barry Schloss, Bernard Siegel, Shale D. Stiller, Donn Alan Weinberg, Nathan Weinberg and William Weinberg. These men are mentioned in the will of the late billionaire, Harry Weinberg, as playing active roles in his estate and charitable foundation. Who are they? Apparently, nearly everyone already knows. Since Mr. Weinberg's death in November at the age of 82, his will has become a best seller in the city's Register of Wills office.

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When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

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Happy New Year.

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Burma Shave.

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