Masses of Russians voted for Yeltsin.
England and France are by tunnel connected.
Thatcher resigned, Mason then was selected.
Nicaraguan results, to Ortega's sorrow,
Gave that election to Mrs. Chamorro.
Mandela at long last from prison is free.
Does this bode success for the A.N.C.?
On Succoth alongside the Western Wall
Arabs were killed, 21 in all.
When Arabs threw rocks, Intifada-inspired,
Israeli soldiers with live ammo fired.
The Middle East picture is far from rosy.
Saddam of Iraq is at fault and God knows 'e
Is evil and greedy with ego as great
As the forces he sent to take over Kuwait.
With oil at the bottom, the world blew its stack.
Desert Shield was set up to stymie Iraq.
With two major war machines poised for war,
We ask: What the hell are we fighting for?
Troubles are rife on the national scene
With murders, drugs, AIDS and of course nicotine.
D.C.'s Mayor Barry by G-men was nabbed
In a hotel where into cocaine he had dabbed.
Folks in the District, the permanent residents,
Want to be able to vote for their presidents.
Statehood, of course, would enfranchise D.C.
But why not cede halves to V.A. and M.D.?
The budget plagued lawmakers; no one was budgin'.
People hurled epithets worse than "curmudgeon."
Congress' failure lit dangerous sparks,
Closing museums and national parks.
Bush was reproached for his civil rights veto.
Japan ostentatiously crowned Akihito.
After launching the costly space telescope Hubble,
High hopes of space scientists burst like a bubble.
Because of some flaws in the telescope's mirror,
The image was blurry; it should have been clearer.
Mirror, oh mirror up high in the Hubble,
It sure makes us sad to reflect on your trouble!
Elections were held, many candidates lost,
Bigger by billions is S&L cost.
While millionaire Trump was in clover reposing,
His Taj Mahal opened; it soon may be closing.
On four hundred-fifty thousand a month,
Trump may be forced to go hungry for onth.
David Souter the erudite bachelor was grilled.
With his answers some senators hardly were thrilled.
Now Souter's OK'd, on the high court he sits,
His votes on abortion could give choice folks fits.
The judge gave Mike Milken a 10-year sentence.
For all his bilkin' he sure needs repentance.
Recorded obscenity and hard-core rap
Put 2 Live Crew entrepreneurs on the map.
The Reds swept the Series -- hooray Cincinnati!
This drove Oakland crazy. (They wish they'd been "batty.")
Sampras and Graf won the cups at Flushing.
Next, a sports story had some of us blushing.
Ms. Olson went in for a locker room story,
Her foray resulted in national glory.
The gents were not suited in game-time regalia,
And Olson reported on male genitalia.
Now let's bow heads in respect as we name
The deceased whose great talent earned fortune and fame:
Generous friend of the homeless, Mitch Snyder,
Harry Weinberg, in death a super-provider.
B.F. Skinner, an expert on human behavior,
Cugat the rumba king, let's call him Xavier.
Jim Henson, phenomenal Muppets man,
Mary Martin, stage darling, great Peter Pan.
Sam Davis Jr. of song-dance success,
Bill Paley, who built up the net, CBS.
Leonard Bernstein whose musical genius shone,
Greta Garbo, who wanted only "to be alone."
Aaron Copland, composer, musician of note,
Norman Cousins whose wisdom infused what he wrote.
Here are some items re: city and state.
The Schmoke-Schaefer feud didn't seem to abate.
Foes couldn't Shepard enough of the vote;
Still Schaefer's "slim margin" did not make him gloat.
Pro-choice was stonewalled by large pro-life faction.
Next year's new faces may bring stronger action.
Maryland's noshers can safely relax,
They'll save dough, not weight, as they eat tax-free snacks.
State budget shortfall is far from a billion,
Still it is very much in the vermillion.
Reisterstown homes by tornado were battered,
Storms, quakes and floods 'round the world scattered.
Dolphins now jump up in Aquarium's pool.
Prices jumped up every time we got fuel.
Marching by skinheads in Hampden was barred.
Light rail's a-building in someone's back yard.
Drug use and crime are at all-time highs
With pregnant teen-agers and crime on the rise.
Sure, we've been tryin', but are we succeeedin'?
Lord, how we've strayed from the Garden of Eden!