With 1991 just around the corner, this sports nut thought he would share with you what's going to be IN and what's going to be OUT this year.
Now mind you, some of these are tongue in cheek and all in fun but meant to provoke conversation.
So, listen up, county sports fans, as I give you the scoop on what's hot and what's not for 1991, and as a bonus I've thrown in a few extras, including Top 10s.
In: Volunteer coaches. Out: Paid coaches.
In: Volunteer guidance counselors. Out: Paid guidance counselors.
In: Gym supervisors. Out: Custodians on weekends.
In: Pep bands. Out: Boom boxes.
In: Overweight basketball coaches. Out: John Brady's shirttail.
In: Run-and-stun offense. Out: Pattern offense.
In: Fighting Panthers. Out: Running Panthers.
In: Winning Chesapeake Cougar basketball. Out: Losing Chesapeake basketball.
In: Losing St. Mary's basketball. Out: Winning St. Mary's basketball.
In: Female principals. Out: Male principals.
In: Male sports reporters. Out: Female sports reporters.
In: Unisex dressing rooms for basketball teams. Out: Separate dressing rooms for hoops teams.
In: Tavio Henson. Out: Derrick Love.
In: Chuck Markiewicz run and shoot. Out: Everybody else's boring run, run, run and punt.
In: Women coaching girls teams. Out: Men coaching girls teams.
In: Athletic transfer rule. Out: Free agency.
In: Visible price tags on caps and clothing. Out: Scissors to cut off tags.
In: Inexpensive fees for Joe Cannon Baseball Stadium. Out: Expensive fees for Cannon Stadium.
In: More Oriolelander All-Star Games so Harry Lentz gets to wear his uniform. Out: Orioles forgetting to invite Harry.
In: Northeast fans talking about the Harry Lentz-coached baseball team for a change. Out: Less talk about the best team at Northeast -- the softball team.
In: Maryland Scholastic Association schools merge with state public schools. Out: The Poly football myth.
In: A shorter schedule for the Glen Burnie baseball team. Out: Glen Burnie's baseball team not folding.
In: An athletic director for Coach Andy Borland who can schedule 10 games for the football team at Severna Park. Out: A nine-game football schedule at Severna Park.
In: Gyms with no heat. Out: Gyms with heat.
In: Long johns for cheerleaders at winter sports events. Out: Severna Park coach Dick Keck's short shorts.
In: Wrestling. Out: Wrasslin.
In: Parents and Booster Club members as chaperones. Out: Administrators as chaperones.
In: Full-time athletic directors. Out: County athletic directors who are expected to do full-time job with part-time schedule.
In: Naming stadiums after coaches. Out: Naming stadiums after principals.
In: Bingo. Out: Nintendo.
In: Baseball anklets with team logos. Out: Baseball wristbands.
In: Blockbuster Bowl. Out: Sign above Clement Hardware in Severna Park.
In: New press box at Severna Park's Roberts Stadium. Out: Elevated chicken coop at Severna Park.
In: Girls lacrosse helmets. Out: Head injuries.
In: Fans' game attire -- jeans without holes. Out: Jeans that look like Freddy Krueger got hold of them.
In: Basketball starting practice date of Oct. 15 given that some coaches start that early anyway. Out: Basketball starting practice date of Nov. 15.
In: Open gyms, coaches allowed to coach. Out: Open gyms -- no coaching.
In: No weigh-ins for youth football teams that make the playoffs. Out: Weigh-ins at playoff games.
In: I.D. cards for Rec and Parks youth sports. Out: Honor system.
In: Big Lew Holmes. Out: Slim Lew Holmes.
Let's take a break now and hit up a Top 10 list, sports fans.
Pat's Top 10 Reasons the Board of Education Keeps the Required GPA to Play Sports at 1.67: 10. Some of the board members had trouble attaining a 2.00 when they were in school.
9. The county wants to be different.
8. The board just recently found out that NCAA Division I requires a 2.00.
7. Don't want to overburden our student-athletes with extra homework.
6. The athletic program, especially football and basketball, is much more important than high academic requirements.
5. It would mean extra work for guidance counselors with kids who are used to skating through making appointments to discuss their academic standing.
4. So kids have more time for video games.
3. The board wants our kids to grow up and talk just like Madonna -- "you know, you know."
2. Buildings would be kept open longer and thus, an added expense for custodian overtime would be added to the already suffering budget.
1. Bart Simpson secretly was voted by the board to be the student-athlete's role model for 1991.
Top 10 Reasons There Is No Athletic Transfer Rule in the County That Would Make Athletes Sit Out a Year.
10. Coaches wouldn't be allowed to recruit.
9. Those who are scared of dogs wouldn't be able to change bus stops.
8. Kids would have to play for coaches who demand discipline and frown upon self-centered players.
7. To avoid psychological hysteria created by coaches who make you come to practice and don't let you run the team or talk back to the coach.