Sick 'n' Tired

Franklin Mason

December 19, 1990|By Franklin Mason

I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'm fed up, I'm sick 'n' tired.

About this time of year it happens. They all think it's so funny, hilarious. I don't.

I'm going to put on my good suit and go protest. I'm going to the store. I'm going to the store, I'm going to buy, I'm going to buy a fruitcake. Yes, a fruitcake.

Laugh all you want, you think it's so funny. I don't. Everybody thinks fruitcake is so funny. I don't.

I've had enough, I'm fed up, I'm sick 'n' tired.

Everybody goes around laughing at fruitcakes, not only laughing but being real mean, being real mean to fruitcakes. You'd think fruitcakes were Saddam Hussein or somebody.

If they only knew it, this is supposed to be the season of good cheer, everybody happy and kind, and what do they do? Laugh at fruitcakes. It's pathetic.

Well, here's one that doesn't laugh, I'm not laughing at all. I'm going to the store to buy a fruitcake. I'm a fruitcake fan. If they laugh at the counter, I don't care. They laugh all over the newspapers, all over the radio, the television. Laugh at fruitcakes.

4 I've had enough, I'm fed up, I'm sick 'n' tired.

Nobody I know has a good word for fruitcakes. I've tried to find a good word. I've looked in Bartlett, in Oxford, for a quotation and you know what? They never heard of fruitcake, never mentioned it.

Well, I'll mention it. Fruitcake, fruitcake, fruitcake.

I've looked more in the books and you know what I found there, don't you? I found old Marie Antoinette there. You know what she said there, don't you?

''Let them eat fruitcakes,'' she said.

You might think that's funny but I don't.

I've had enough, I'm fed up, I'm sick 'n' tired.

' Bon appetit, Mr. Mason.

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