OK, OK, so there's a recession out there and we all have to cut back. But if you can't show some genorosity at Christmas time, just when can you open up your heart and your wallet anyway?!
I'm still making a list and checking it twice, but here are some of my thoughts for Christmas shopping 1990.
* For Gov. William Donald Schaefer: A canonization ceremony. The Guv didn't want to win an election. He wanted a unanimous acclamation of sainthood. Boy, lose one county and go into a righteous snit. And where's the requisite miracle anyway? Making a budget surplus disappear? Presto!
Bah humbug! * For Mike Gilligan and Bobby Neall: Tickets to see "The Odd Couple." * For Ted Sophocleus: A new pollster who counts good. * For the Anne Arundel County Democratic Pary Leadership: A new drawing board to replace the old one they need to go back to. * For Robert Schaeffer and the Anne Arundel Tax Cappers: A consulting economist, a lawyer who speaks fluent "legalese" and an adding machine that works. * For the Broadneck High School Booster Club: An old riding crop suitable for beating a dead horse. * For Prophet Pat: A goodwill tour of the Broadneck Peninsula, all expenses paid by yours truly, Professor Kool. * For county concert pianist Doug Keegan who is studying at Poland's Warsaw Conservatory: Inspiration from Peabody colleague Kevin Kenner's recent victory in the International Chopin Competition. Keegan plans on entering that competition next time around. It can be done! * For Eloise Vaughn and the Performing Arts Association of Linthicum: The rights of Keegan's first American concert after he wins the Chopin. * For the organizers of "First Night Annapolis": Thousands of New Year's revelers eager to ring in 1991 with a celebration of the arts in downtown Annapolis. * For Anne Arundel County high school teachers: The chance to watch some "report card" brandishing bureaucratic pinhead from the state Board of Education come in and try to teach your toughest classes for a week or two. Ho Ho Ho! * For the plumber who came to my house last Tuesday only to leave 3 1/2 hours and $435 later: You're on your own this year, babe. God knows you can afford it. * For the managers of Sam Goody's at the Annapolis Mall: A sheep. Let them fleece something besides their customers for a change. Seventeed bucks per disc? The Grinch lives. * For the Annapolis Symphony Orchestra: Enough intriguing prospects for the conductor's job to make the final selection process difficult but exciting. * For the merchants of State Circle: Don't bother. They got their present already. Finally. * For Phil Greenfield: You've already given me a Tower Records. Hell just get me that Triple A baseball team and I may never leave ol' Camelot on the Bay. What's a little gridlock when CD's and baseball are on the other side of the traffic jam?! Happy Holidays!
When he's not showing extraordinary generosity or reviewing concerts for the Anne Arundel County Sun, Phil Greenfield teaches at Annapolis High School.