I think it's time for a celebrity style roundup.
Let's consider whether celebrities lie when asked intimate questions about their appearance/weight/surgical adjustments.
Of course they do.
First, Madonna, who is trying to convince us that her new and enormous upper lip is not the result of collagen injections, but merely the effects of "tons of lipstick" in what she calls her "Lucille Ball tribute."
Reading Madonna's lips. Oh, please. Anyone who has seen recent photos of the Material Girl knows better. You don't achieve that look with lipstick, even if you smear on the whole tube.
Some women do visually puff up their lips by applying lipstick slightly outside the natural lip line. But it only works for slight, subtle changes, and even then, it's fairly easy to detect.
Upon close scrutiny of recent photos, plus a glimpse of her at the Isaac Mizrahi show in New York, I came to this expert conclusion: no evidence of a lipstick-extended lip line. But the new lips are so puffy she is hardly recognizable, which is really saying something when you're talking about Madonna.
What I can't figure out is: Why would a woman who routinely and radically alters her looks suddenly start denying it?
Which brings us to Cher, who is trying to make us believe her incredibly well-preserved body is not the result of repeated trips to the cosmetic surgeon.
She's even gone so far as to get a letter from her doctor listing the types of surgery she has not had.
At least Cher has a specific reason for her denial. She wants us to buy her new health-and-exercise video, which means also buying the notion that a good diet and daily exercise got her where she is today.
I don't doubt that Cher watches what she eats and exercises regularly. But what does exercising have to do with your eyelids, your chin or your cheekbones? Yet Cher had her doctor verify that she has not had surgery to "enhance" those parts of her body.
He says she did not have ribs removed to narrow her waist. He also writes that Cher can confirm that her "slim legs" and pTC "excellent figure" have been maintained "through regular exercise and discipline with her diet."
Cher can confirm? Wasn't the whole purpose so he could confirm Cher's healthy lifestyle? How many people do you know who would say, "Actually, I'm a slug and a couch potato. But I still want to look good, so I spend thousands of dollars on cosmetic surgery?"
And finally, Oprah Winfrey says she'll never diet again, having gained back virtually all of the 67 pounds she lost on a liquid diet two years ago.
Remember when Oprah victoriously threw off her coat on her talk show to reveal that she was wearing size 10 blue jeans?
Remember how she scoffed at diet experts who warned crash diets usually do not produce long-term results?
She said there was no way she'd gain the weight back. Her life was too public, she'd be too humiliated, and so on and so on. And now we're supposed to believe she's suddenly become so self-accepting that she'll be happy with her size 14-16 self.
Personally, I'm betting those size 10 jeans are still in her closet.
What makes me so sure? Could be those size 8 Calvin Kleins now almost a decade old I can't bring myself to throw away.