'L'Infuriato' rocks the state

Dan Rodricks

October 03, 1990|By Dan Rodricks

And now, we come to the second act of "L'Infuriato (The 8 Infuriated One)," being the fourth opera in the Don Donaldo Ring A Cycle.

As you will recall, in Act One, Don Donaldo, Lord Governor of Maryland, exploded into Wagnerian madness when apprised of results in the primary election. Padre Michino Steinberg, the Lieutenant Lord Governor, delivered the news: Don Donaldo had received 78 percent of the vote. Though impressive, the vote nTC was considered insulting, even seditious. Don Donaldo was furious. In a sinister aria, the Lord Governor declared, "No More, Mr. Nice Guy," as his minions cowered and his Ocean City trailer home rocked.

Now, as we rejoin the story, Don Donaldo has dispatched volunteers, sycophants, lackies and appointees across the state to spread the good word about his administration. He has ordered that the vote in November's general election be unanimous.

-The curtain rises-

We see Don Donaldo's salon in the Governor's Palace, adorned with large portraits of Don Donaldo -- one over the fireplace, several hanging from the ceiling, several more on tables and shelves. There is a bust of Don Donaldo on a pedestal. The Lord Governor, dressed in his sweeping black-and-yellow robe, paces. Padre Michino, troubled by Don Donaldo's disposition, is seated at a long, ornate table.

Michino: Signor, signor!

Donaldo: Whatsa' matta' for?

Michino: I think it's infeasible.

Donaldo: Nah, it's very reasonable.

Michino: An impossibility.

Donaldo: A grand opportunity.

Michino: A unanimous vota'!

Donaldo: A satisfying nota' . . .

Michino: But, Don, eetsa' crazy!

Donaldo: Ahhhh, don't be so lazy.

The music erupts into fanfare. Don Donaldo feels a song coming on. He stands majestically before the windows of his salon, and sings (to "Seventy-six Trombones"):

Sev-en-tee eight per-cent weren't enough for me.

4 A-hundred-and-ten per-cent would be grand.

. So if they don't get in line

And vote for me

I'll turn red

N' purple

At the head.

Deliver the word, Padre, to the folks for me.

1 Tell 'em Don is their pal, is their chum.

- I got them a stadium new,

And Reach The Beach, too.

I'm your Don,

King of Now-Do!!!

Exeunt Don Donaldo.

The dutiful Padre Michino Steinberg rises from his seat and peers out the tall windows of the salon. The many portraits of Don Donaldo seem to come to life as Padre Michino, tormented by the enormous burdens of pacifying the Lord Governor, finds himself questioning his role in the government. Don Donaldo's demands are enormous, and the little friar knows his Lord Governor might never be satisfied.

Padre Michino sings his mad song (to "Honky Tonk Woman"):

Don, he's wild/ He's demandin'/ And so quirky.

2 He took me/ For his pal/ And for his guy.

- But four years in/ I've had it/ I'm no turkey.

2 He messed me up n' almost blew my mind!

+ He's that Daaaaaawwwwww-awaw-aaawwwn Don Donaldo!

5 Do it, do it, do it, the Don Donaldo way!

- The music transforms into rock opera as Padre Michino begins the second verse, the portraits in the room begin to swing. The bust of Don Donaldo frowns.

Now Don gets/ All the credit/ I get diddly.

/ I try to keep/ A good face/ On this job.

, Still later/ I'll be playin'/ Second fiddly.

0 So cut me loose, and cut me from this jive!

/ He's that Daaaaaawwwwww-awaw-aaawwwn Don Donaldo!

5 Do it, do it, do it, the Don Donaldo way!

- The portraits of Don Donaldo swing from side to side. An off-stage chorus joins the refrain. The bust of Don Donaldo sings, too.

He's that Daaaaaawwwwww-awaw-aaawwwn Don Donaldo!

5 Do it, do it, do it, the Don Donaldo way!

- -Curtain-

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