MRS. SADDAM HUSSEIN'S top 10 tips for keeping your husband happy (from "Late Night with David Letterman"):
10. Assure him he's just as maniacal as the day you met.
9. Leave little notes in his holster.
8. A little Woolite gets poison gas from most of your fine washables.
7. Tell him you look like Michelle Pfeiffer. Never take off your veil.
6. Double date with the Gadhafis.
5. Freshly pressed slacks make a nice impression on forcibly detained civilians.