Ring the bells! Blow the horns! Toot the whistles! Wave the flags! At last it has been found! The worst new show of the 1990-91 television season!
That most coveted honor goes to "Going Places," which premieres on ABC tonight. It is one of the dumbest ideas for a series since Mr. T and Tina met.
The half-hour "Going Places," which will be on Channel 13 (WJZ) at 9:30, is something of a clone of "Three's Company," with the John Ritter role divided between two brothers.
As if a rejuvenation of that leer-and-a-wink show wasn't enough, "Going Places" is out of the Miller-Boyett family warmedy factory. So after all the raucous laughs and double entendres-- Miller and Boyett seem to want to prove that they can get down and dirty, too -- someone cues the violins for tonight's meaningful message. At least "Three's Company" knew that it was nothing more than raucous vaudeville.
"Going Places" is the story of four bright young kids out to live the American dream -- getting a job writing for a hack television show! So this is what happens when they shut the steel mills down.
The brothers -- Charlie, played by Alan Ruck, and Jack, played by Jerry Levine -- are out from Chicago. They get a tryout job working for "Looking at You," another "Candid Camera" rip-off, teamed with the beautiful blond Alex -- played by Heather Locklear in clothes tight enough to restrict her breathing -- and the serious brunet Lindsay, played by Hallie Todd, a knockout by normal standards but consigned to the ugly duckling role in this quartet apparently because her chest isn't a big as Locklear's.
Their boss is Dawn St. Clair, played by Holland Taylor as a tough-as-her-long-nails woman who shreds the careers of a couple of would-be Hollywood types before breakfast every day. But she's got a nice extra house on her beachfront estate, so, hey, kids, why don't you all live there while you write for the show? What's about $4,000 a month rent to a nice lady like me?
Tonight they have their first assignment -- come up with an idea for a shoot set for tomorrow at a local mall. What to do? Our kids stay up all night working. Can they come up with anything? Will their Hollywood dream be over? If you don't know the answers to those questions, then you might be of the mentality that will like "Going Places."
What can you say about a show like this, other than it's juvenile, predictable, ridiculous, stilted, not funny and borders on the offensive in its fostering of stereotypes? Not too much, actually. That will do fine.
(No stars) Four young would-be television writers share a beachfront house as they work for the tough producer of a "Candid Camera"-type show.
CAST: Heather Locklear, Holland Taylor, Jerry Levine, Hallie Todd, Alan Ruck
TIME: Fridays at 9:30
CHANNEL: ABC Channel 13 (WJZ)