Believe it or not, poll says marriage is No. 1 for men

Elise T Chisolm

September 20, 1990|By Elise T Chisolm

MARRIAGE IS No. 1 with men! That's according to a recent survey.

They're kidding! I'm sorry but I just can't believe that!

Now, if you told me that Monday night football was more important to men than their marriages, I'd believe that.

According to a Men's Life magazine poll of 815 men, the most important thing in their life isn't sex, career, fame or fortune, it's marriage.

Well, Donald Trump wouldn't think so, would he?

I'll recap what I think is stranger than fiction, and then I'll tell you what I really think.

The poll states that 63 percent of the men questioned said marriage is most important; of married men, 75 percent said marriage is most important. More than one-third of singles said it's very important for them to get married.

I, for one, don't think this is accurate, unless, of course, the men were from a remote island with a primitive culture where people kill if marriage vows are not upheld.

And another facet of the survey I find hard to believe is that 59 percent of the married men said that if they had an extra hour a week they'd spend it with their families. More about that later.

If men find marriage so important why is it that I hear married men tell me that their new sports car is the most gorgeous thing in their lives, and "I couldn't live without that baby," or "I wouldn't trade in my sail boat 'Candy-Bar' for anything.

Why is it that, at this writing, I know three men who are cheating on their wives?

Did you read the recent national Kinsey Institute/Roper Organization test that said, among other statistics, that 40 percent ofmarried men have had an extramarital affair? Some experts believe that the rate of male infidelity is 60 percent or more.Then my single male friends tell me there is no way to meet "nice girls" so they aren't ever going to get married.

So I am saying if marriage is so great to so many men, then how is it there are so many divorces? And why are men marrying later? Fraidy-cats?

My friend Mary, 34, who is beautiful and smart, also, disagrees with the survey. She thinks men are scared to death of commitment: "They don't propose marriage, I can tell you that. But I'm going to try to find out who those 815 men are and at least get their telephone numbers -- the single ones, of course."

Oh yes, and about that extra hour the poll says men would like to spend with their families: If that is true, why is it that most of the men I know are busy making tennis or golf appointments for the late afternoon come hell or high water -- and I'm sure some hell does come -- or check the health clubs between 5 and 6 in the evening -- your man is there! If he's not, he may be at the local pub, but I can tell you he's not coming home to play Monopoly with the kids.

What do I really think about this survey's findings that most men say marriage is No. 1 in their lives? I think if that's true, then Camelot is here, and I can't find it.

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