Somebody should put up a sign in the Silverdome today reading: "Will Rogers never met Jerry Glanville."
Even ol' Will would have been hard-pressed to find something to like about Glanville, who is without peer in finding new people to feud with.
Jack Pardee used to be considered a rather dull, but professional, coach until Glanville discovered he was a jerk.
Glanville managed to apologize for that, but there may be no stopping him now.
Maybe Glanville now can start a feud with Mother Teresa.
49ers (-5 1/2 ) 27, Redskins 24 -- The 49ers are in their just-playing-well-enough-to-win mode.
Lions (-3) 21, Falcons 14 -- Do you think Wayne Fontes will figure out this week that it's a good idea to give Barry Sanders the ball?
Bears (+2 1/2 ) 20, Packers 17 -- Mike Ditka certainly is mellowing. He called Tony Mandarich only a "bozo." Before he mellowed, he would have said Mandarich has the IQ of a grapefruit.
Patriots (+2 1/2 ) 23, Colts 17 -- If you're keeping score at home, Jeff George got his first concussion of the season in the opener. George may wind up punch-drunk playing behind the Colts' offensive line.
Browns (-2) 21, Jets 14 -- Don't look for Bruce Coslet to be calling another tight-end reverse on the goal line this week.
Eagles (-14) 30, Cardinals 7 -- What does Joe Bugel keep writing on that yellow note pad on the sidelines? Maybe something like, "How did I get myself in this mess?"
Bills (-2 1/2 ) 23, Dolphins 13 -- Jim Kelly has to keep winning to keep the fans from yelling for Frank Reich.
Rams (-3) 28, Bucs 21 -- The Rams, who usually are at the top of the standings in contract disputes, finally signed their last holdout, Damone Johnson. It must mean they're ready to begin the season -- a week late.
Giants (-8) 30, Cowboys 3 -- LT certainly didn't seem to miss training camp, did he?
Seahawks (pick) 21, Raiders 17 -- The real reason Al Davis decided to stay in Los Angeles (for now, anyway) is that so many people, including ESPN's Fred Edelstein, said he was going XTC back to Oakland. Al never did like doing what people say he's going to do.
Bengals (-2 1/2 ) 30, Chargers 17 -- When Bobby Beathard was the general manager in Washington, he never had to worry about his coach trying a fake punt with the lead in the fourth quarter.
Vikings (-6) 20, Saints 13 -- Is the Saints' defense going to sue the offense and John Fourcade for non-support?
Steelers (-2) 24, Oilers 14 -- Jack Pardee and Chuck Noll certainly have the same opinion of Jerry Glanville.
Broncos (-5 1/2 ) 28, Chiefs 17 -- Remember when John Elway said Baltimore was too cold? He couldn't take the heat in Los Angeles last Sunday.
Best bets: Browns, Eagles, Giants and Bengals.
Last week's record: 8-6. Against the spread: 6-8. Best bets: 2-2.