9 p.m. today, Channels 13, 7 and 47.
Pretty moronic, even by Clint Eastwood standards. In this one, his girlfriend, Sondra Locke, is hunting down the guys who raped her sister some years back. And who are the guys? Oh, you know, the usual cretins who wear T-shirts and baseball hats and hang around cheap bars. Eastwood, attempting to "solve" this crime, simply walks around looking for excuses to unlimber his .44 Magnum automatic and blow people away. Meanwhile, gangsters and the like continue to try to hunt him down; but he always gets the best of them, because, not only is he the star, he's the director of the movie, so even the bullets the bad guys fire are working for him. And when he tells them to miss, they miss! So anyway ... it's all pretext to set up an Eastwood-rapist tag team match at the end. Guess who wins that one?
"Field of Dreams."
9 p.m. Tuesday, Channels 11, 9 and 16.
Lots of people liked this movie, but I wasn't one of them. Essentially, it's an attempt to re-create the magic of the Frank Capra fables into a contemporary setting. It hit one chord very nicely -- the universal human feeling that our parents died before we told them how important they were to us, and when at the end, Kevin Costner "has a catch" with his long-dead father, who has returned to life via the mystery of Universal Pictures, there wasn't a dry eye in the house, except for the two above my nose. To me, the movie didn't really earn the big jolt at the end it was hoping for, being somewhat incoherent in its marshaling of incidents. Basically, Costner is a farmer who, hearing voices one day, tears up a cornfield to build a ball field so that Shoeless Joe Jackson and some other early-days ballplayers can show up to chuck the old apple around. For equally obscure reasons, Costner goes on a quest and brings people to see this miracle, including a cynical author and an ancient doctor. And lo, the ballplayers show up again. It's all mumbo jumbo, as derived from a cult novel by W.P. Kinsella.