As show biz book memoirs go, "Don't Shoot It's Only Me" is not bad, and you certainly could never fault Bob Hope, right, for his timing. Thus tonight's NBC special titled after and based upon Hope's recent book, at 10 on Channel 2, is a natural. American troops are overseas and Hope is on the air. In this case, the show reaches back to the earliest performing years of the entertainer. With lots of clips, the show's guests run from Milton Berle to Danny Thomas, and include a fair number of U.S. presidents.
''Metropolitan'' was done in New York on a very small budget by Whit Stillman, who had never written or directed a film. You wouldn't know it. This one plays like Philip Barry (''Philadelphia Story'') as seen through the eyes of Woody Allen. The film takes place in 1968 on New York's upper East Side where the young people in the film, nine of them, are into a whirl of debutante parties and post-party gatherings. Their conversation is always worth hearing. Language. Rating: PG-13. ***
The Music in the Great Hall chamber series had to leave its former home in the Great Hall a season or so ago, and is now happily located at the Towson Unitarian-Universalist Church, 1710 Dulaney Valley Road. Tomorrow at 3 p.m., clarinetist Fred Jacobowitz, left, cellist Cecylia Barczyk and pianist Virginia Reinecke will perform Beethoven's Sonata in C major, Op. 102, No. 1; a Sonata for clarinet and piano by Phyllis Tate; Jean Francaix's "Tema con Variazioni" for clarinet and piano; and the Brahms Trio in A minor for clarinet, cello and piano. Tickets are $7.50, $4 for students. Call 823-8339.
If you're in the mood for a golden oldie, try ''All About Eve,'' the 1950 film that gave new life to Bette Davis' career and won the Academy Award for best film of the year. Davis plays stage actress Margo Channing, who is taken in by a young woman who pretends to be more than she is and before long, has stolen Channing's career. The 40-year-old film still holds up and still crackles. Joseph Mankiewicz did the very literate script and directed. George Sanders, Celeste Holm and Marilyn Monroe are in the supporting cast. No rating. ****
"The Road to Mecca," Athol Fugard's gripping drama, is having its Baltimore community theater premiere at the Fells Point Theatre. Directed by Denise Ratajczak, the play by the acclaimed South African playwright focuses on the struggling relationships of a reclusive old widow, a young school teacher and the pastor of a feudal-type village. Fine local actors Beverly Sokal, above, Bruce Godfrey and Julie-Ann Elliott star. 8:30 p.m. 251 S. Ann St. Tickets: $7. 276-7837.